Know Your Stars: South Park

Chapte 1: Eric Cartman

Eric Cartman:  He enjoys playing with dolls and going to slumber parties.

"I do not, asshole!  Shut up!" Eric snapped.

Eric Cartman:  He thinks Kyle is cool.

"NO I DON’T!!!" Cartman roared.  "I THINK HE’S A REAL FUCKING JERK!!!  LIKE YOU!!!!"

Eric Cartman:  He’s so fat, when he stood on the scale, the scale read, "Whoa!  One at a time!"

"If you don’t shut up, I’ll kick your fat ass!" Cartman growled.

Eric Cartman:  His mom is a dirty bitch!

"HEY!  JUST BECAUSE THAT MAY BE TRUE DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN SAY IT!!!" Cartman bellowed, furiously.  "YOU’VE PISSED ME OFF HERE!"

Now you know Eric Cartman!

"NO THEY DONT!!!" Cartman screamed.  "THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!!!  GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, YOU ASSHOLE!!!!  I’M NOT DONE HERE!!!  COME BACK AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN!!!!"